A Moment of Silence for Kobe...

An open letter to Kobe Bryant:

Dear Kobe,
I'm not mad at you, Kobe...I know life as Kobe Bryant is rough. In fact, I'm taking a moment on my BLOG to call for a national moment of silence for he who has had such a tough life. Don't believe me? Just sit back and cogitate...60...59...58...Poor you. Growing up on those city streets must have been rough... Daddy strung out on...Oh wait a minute, you didn't grow up in a tough urban neighborhood, your parents were well off. Your father played pro basketball. You actually had it pretty good, and traveled Europe as a kid. I don't know too many African Americans who speak fluent Italian. But hey, let's bow our heads and just think about how poor your upbringing could have been.

55...54...53...Dang, Man. Did your Momma really name you after a steak? Or after a restaurant of the same name by another count? Either way, that's pretty messed up, Man. I feel your pain, Kobe. Really.

47...46...45...Oh wait a minute, Kobe. Weren't you chosen 13th in the first round of an NBA draft by the Charlotte Hornets?..at the age of 18??? You obviously had a solid body of work at that stage of your career, but I'm not mad at you, Kobe. I know your goals were pretty high and you wanted to go higher. That had to be a real disappointing time in your life, Dude. I've got some Kleenex for you if recalling that moment chokes you up.

39...38...37...Wait, wait, wait. How bad could it be? Oh that's right, you never got to play for the sorry Charlotte Hornets because you got traded to the Los Angeles Lakers--one of the greatest NBA franchises of all time--for Vlade Divac. What a shame. I can only imagine, Kobe. Life in L.A. vs. Charlotte. Rough life, man.

34...33...32...Hold up. Wait a minute. It gets worse. The Lakers had the audacity to bring in Shaquille O'neil in a trade that would result in three NBA Championships with the two of you in the drivers seat. But somehow winning just wasn't good enough because Shaq had all the limelight. McDonald's commercials? Not enough. Adidas shoe endorsements? Not enough. Comparisons to MJ? The ultimate compliment? Not enough. My bad though, I keep forgetting how tough it is to be you, Kobe.

28...27...26... Oh that's right. I almost forgot. With all the hordes of willing women at your fingertips, you chose to force yourself on some underaged girl in Colorado. I guess pay-per-view wasn't your bag, eh, Kobe? Had you been convicted, you could have faced four years to life in prison or 20 years to life on probation, and a fine of up to $750,000. The trial was all over the media. And here's the best part: Your wife stands by your side, and Lakers general manager Mitch Kupchak follows up with a contract extension despite the PR hit. Afterall, what could possibly be more important than Laker basketball? A little (alleged) rape? Oh, but I know it's tough to be you, Kobe. Especially when nobody has your back, Man.

23...22...21...I just can't keep this straight: Like a crab in the barrel, you call out Shaq for infidelity while you are under the microscope, and then get mad at him? And then you get brain lock and can't play together? Result? Shaq winds up being traded to Miami for Caron Butler, Lamar Odom, Brian Grant and a first-round draft pick. Quite a windfall for the Lakers, but wait! Shaq has the last laugh when he quickly wins yet another championship with a different talented sidekick. How embarrassing can that be? Don't say it. I know, know. It's tough to be Kobe.

18...17...16... Despite everything that's happened to you for which you have NO responsibility, why, why, why would you go on live radio and disrespect the team that stood by you from the very beginning? The team that you have been a self-described fan of since "forever"? Why would you tell Stephen A. Smith--of all the loudmouth broadcasters in the world!--on national radio that there is "Nothing the Lakers could do to resolve the situation"? Don't you have a clue how blessed you are to be paid millions of dollars to play the game of basketball. Don't you understand that winning is a privilege, and not a right? Don't you know any number of people would have written you off long ago if not for your freakish physical talent? Don't you listen to your wife? parents? coach? anyone?

3..2...1
...Kobe Bryant Rookie card on eBay: $30
...Seeing Kobe play on DirecTV: $100
...Hearing Kobe act like a baby on national radio: A shame
...Preparing to observe the NBA bottom feeder teams salivate over the prospect of getting Kobe in a blockbuster trade: priceless

Peace,
+THINKER